Disclaimer:
All characters appearing in this work are/(are not) fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is (not) purely coincidental
It was one of my beginning days in my new school-KV ONGC,Jorhat.
Venue was class VII classroom. Just arrived after jumping out of the bus. Sometime later a spectacled 75% Big B lookalike entered, took attendance and left. At the time of attendance, a pretty girl –Sonakshi Sahasrabudhhe was standing by the blackboard and smiled at me when my roll number was called out. I just managed to yell- ees ssir!! As flashes of her pretty smile pierced my senses.
Then it was assembly time and our venerated principal started as usual after polishing his specs over his belly (which makes me wonder whether he is polishing his belly or his specs or just showing off his cury belly, lol!) “Pyare baccho Suprabhat!!.....kaal main ek bahut hi accha film dekha-Kabhi Khusi Khabi Gaam, bahut hi accha laga mujhe…ek parivaar ki rista dekhaya jata hai film mein……aap log bhi dekhiye aur kuch sikhiye………..ha aur ek baat, upto class 8,I repeat upto class 8,sabhi larke half pant pehenke ayenge,compulsory hai…Jai Hind!!” Just then I overheard some class 8 seniors beside me murmuring, “Buddha tu kyun nahi pehenta re,boxer mein aana kaal se…”, “…buddhe mein jawani ki bhoot chari hain,marega kab,goa ka beach banake rakha hai school…”
Assembly over, it was time for some social studies. Entered our cherished Mr. Sanjay Kohli Wangchuk Sir, determined for some social welfare service after missing a drop of polio, so that our progenies don’t suffer from the same fate. At that entry time, Kausik (a teacher’s son) was pestering me to exchange my seat with his so that he can sit beside pretty Sonakshi’s group. SKW sir saw us and decided to show amnesty to Kuasik (as colleague’s son), but called me to the blackboard. I was petrified of a nice thrashing or a questionarie about Moguls, but he was innovative and drew a circle of somewhat the size of a 1 paise coin and about 2 inches above my nose’s height. He edicted me to sense it with the tip of my nose for 5 odd minutes. (I was angry as it there was no fault of mine and began thinking some negatives of him…remembered what my classmate Mrinmoi Baruah confided in me that when he first came for registration in school and saw a limping SKW, he took him for a peon for sure and was about to ask him for a registration form!)
“yeh us jamaneki baat hai jab sultan Muhammad bin Tughluq....” SKW proceeded, consistently showing off his bent index finger as a prized possession, “…ayeee kya ho raha hai udhar? ye koi picture nahi chal raha hai,baat maat kar! Bajawunga kan ke niche tab malum parega main kaun hu! (stares for sometime clamping his white teeth in a black background and making some very serious expressions in a modified Dabbang style) “Muhummad bin……”,he continued. I wondered if he was actually a minister at Tughluq’s court.
Then came the library period which was basically meant for gossiping for nautanki fellas like me and some of my friends under the very nose of the unsuspecting ‘choure’ pehelwan Ramnaresh Kumar sir. “Have you ever seen a 5 rupees balloon?”,quipped Riganka. “yeah a perfect 5 rs one”, added his buddy Banta Pilankar who were sitting besides me. Just then Pycraft, as I later got to know his name and seating beside Rigs., blared out “Toi nije ki? Oh sandipani, tumi zoka dekhisa nai zoka??”. Then I realized that balloon was referred to him citing his protruding belly.Back in classroom was our English period and entered our charming Mrs. Shweta Chaterjee maa’m who conducted a sentence making test and when I was getting it checked when she enquired about my health as I had fainted in the assembly the day before. “wat do ya have for breakfast and tiffin??”,she enquired.
“chappati in breakfast and….”
“maa’m boiled egg,anda!! Eats it by the whole,swallows it maa’m!!”, yelled Riganka,complete with some supportive actions. Mrs. Chaterjee poked out her eyes at him before aiming them at me and I was lost for words. “So you take eggs??” “err eiess..” “Good good have it daily” (Later on ,she often makes sure that I take eggs in my tiffin. Even once in a class 9,she enquired about the same.)
Then came the dreaded subject Hindi and entered Mr. Deepankar Rastogi sir who proceeded to sing some Kabir dohas, “Maala Pherat Jug Bhaya, Mita Na Man Ka Pher Kar Ka Manka Chhor De,Man Ka Manka Pher….”some of us began giggling at his mesmerizing tone “….hey why are you laughing? Dohas are meant for singing not reciting…sandipani tu sudherega nahi!!”. I just could not control myself anymore and led out a small burst of hee hee haha and others joined me. “hey Bhagwan!”,he tapped his forehead and decided to recite instead.
The much awaited last period of drawing arrived and was conducted by a spectacled Mr. Roy sir. He drew a nice young girl’s face in the board and I wondered if it was his daughter. Anyway I began scribbling it down. Glancing at my benchmate’s drawing book, I found him tearing off one of the pages. Closer examination revealed that it was a sketch of Mr. Roy with his big round harry potter specs and with a heading ‘WANTED’ followed by ‘Reward Of 50000$’. I wondered if Mr. Roy was wanted internationally by the US… Sensing my attention was somewhere else, Mr. Roy shouted, “Ayee aisa raasi khichungga ki jibon(life) ka gaadi rukh jayega”. Frightened, I quickly resumed my work.
TONG!TONG!!TONG!!!
That was the last thing i wanted in my ears. I grabbed my bag and dashed out indifferent to Mr. Roy’s “ay rukhja …rukh…” in order to secure a nice window seat in the bus.
...Till death do us apart!!
